I’m going to start this blog with a confession.
I don’t understand everything about law of attraction. I believe that in order for me to fully grasp this law of the universe, I have to delve deeper inside myself than I have gone before.
Let me explain. You’re practising this LOA stuff and you’re monitoring your thoughts and feelings and everything in your life seems to go swimmingly, and then suddenly you hit an unexpected bump in the road.
That bump in the road means different things to different people. For some it could be as big as losing your job and to others it could be as little as getting in a minor fender bender.
The kind of bump doesn’t matter. In fact, the size of the bump doesn’t matter either because that’s a relative term. To a billionaire a $10K car accident is meaningless, while it could mean the world to someone who’s barely getting by.
Lots of times the bump doesn’t even exist. It’s a fabric of our imagination that comes from the potential outcome of an experience. For example, freaking out after being screened for cancer. You can literally drive yourself crazy with just this one scenario.
Now I’m not minimizing the potential brevity of that experience or any other. Believe me I’ve freaked out plenty in my life.
My point though, is that there seem to be periods in our lives that no matter what we think and how well we feel, something unexpected comes up that we judge as “bad”.
The bigger question is how do we make sense of these bumps, what is the “right” way to deal with them and how “should” we behave when they do happen?
Making sense of it is where I get confused. I mean the law of attraction material is quite straight forward. Think good thoughts, feel good feelings and good will come.
But then why do these bumps happen?
The answers are quite diverse. Including; these bumps are part of the whole process and ultimately it will yield what you want; these bumps are put there to teach you a lesson; the only way to grow is through discomfort and calamities; you subconsciously attracted it in your life; you’re doing law of attraction wrong; these bumps are inevitable; the bump was created through the collective conscious and you got caught up in it; it’s a source of contrast, prompting you to ask for something new in your life; and more.
With so many answers, who knows what the right one is? And this comes back to my confession. I really don’t know the right answer. They all make at least a little bit of sense to me.
But maybe it’s not important to know why the bump happened. I mean, does knowing why solve anything (other than perhaps avoiding them in the future, if that’s even possible or ultimately desirable)?
Maybe it’s more important to accept that it happened (you can’t argue with that) and that you somehow attracted it in your life (assuming you believe in law of attraction, which I do).
In other words, it’s most productive to own the experience. That’s the only way we can move on from it.
And, just as important, we need to determine whether it’s fair to judge the experience at all. If you think about it, we label every experience in our lives. That’s good. This is bad. And I’m indifferent to the other.
But like the billionaire with the $10K accident, it’s all relative. Or in other words, an experience in and of itself has no value, other than the one we assign to it. And we only assign a value to it based on how we feel it’s going to impact our lives moving forward.
If we feel the impact is minimal, we will be indifferent. If we feel the impact will be negative, we’ll judge it as “bad”. If we feel the impact will be positive, we’ll judge it as “good”. It really is as simple as that.
The key words are we feel. What’s happening is we’re looking at something outside ourselves to dictate how we feel. And we do that all the time.
Once I have the relationship, I will feel happy. Once I have the money, I will feel joyful. Once I have the job I will be at peace.
If unexpected expenses come my way, I’ll feel scared. If my partner dumps me, I’ll feel sad. If my boss yells at me, I’ll be angry.
In other words, we freak out because we believe the bump will ultimately lead to a bad outcome, making us feel bad.
The irony is we’re already feeling bad by freaking out. Or to put it another way, our minds are making us feel bad before the potential outcome even happens.
Why? Because how we feel has nothing do with the outside world. It’s the great illusion!
Our feelings are simply a product of our thoughts and beliefs. Meaning it’s an internal trigger based on how we view the world.
Now don’t get me wrong, these triggers have a real impact. If you grew up with the belief that money is scarce and hard to come by, then any experience that threatens your financial wellbeing will cause within you a strong reaction.
But again, it’s not the experience that’s making you feel bad, it’s the perceived risk to your financial well-being that is making you feel bad.
Of course, this may sound like semantics, but understanding the difference is crucial to your personal development.
The understanding that your thoughts and beliefs (not the external event) causes you to freak out puts you in the driver’s seat, because you have the power to change your thoughts and beliefs.
And there are many methods out there to help you do that. But the first step is accepting this undeniable truth. Only then can you move forward.
The problem is, for a lot of people we’re not quite sure what will freak us out in the future because our triggers are buried deep in our subconscious. Meaning we can only work on changing these triggers, once we consciously experience and acknowledge them.
So, this comes back to the original point of this blog. What do you do the next time you freak out?
Well five things are necessary to help you through it: