Do this the next time you’re freaking out.

Do this the next time you’re freaking out

I’m going to start this blog with a confession.

 

I don’t understand everything about law of attraction. I believe that in order for me to fully grasp this law of the universe, I have to delve deeper inside myself than I have gone before.

 

 Let me explain. You’re practising this LOA stuff and you’re monitoring your thoughts and feelings and everything in your life seems to go swimmingly, and then suddenly you hit an unexpected bump in the road.

 

That bump in the road means different things to different people. For some it could be as big as losing your job and to others it could be as little as getting in a minor fender bender.

 

The kind of bump doesn’t matter. In fact, the size of the bump doesn’t matter either because that’s a relative term. To a billionaire a $10K car accident is meaningless, while it could mean the world to someone who’s barely getting by.

 

Lots of times the bump doesn’t even exist. It’s a fabric of our imagination that comes from the potential outcome of an experience. For example, freaking out after being screened for cancer. You can literally drive yourself crazy with just this one scenario.

 

Now I’m not minimizing the potential brevity of that experience or any other. Believe me I’ve freaked out plenty in my life.

 

My point though, is that there seem to be periods in our lives that no matter what we think and how well we feel, something unexpected comes up that we judge as “bad”.

 

The bigger question is how do we make sense of these bumps, what is the “right” way to deal with them and how “should” we behave when they do happen?

 

Making sense of it is where I get confused. I mean the law of attraction material is quite straight forward. Think good thoughts, feel good feelings and good will come.

 

But then why do these bumps happen?

 

The answers are quite diverse. Including; these bumps are part of the whole process and ultimately it will yield what you want; these bumps are put there to teach you a lesson; the only way to grow is through discomfort and calamities; you subconsciously attracted it in your life; you’re doing law of attraction wrong; these bumps are inevitable; the bump was created through the collective conscious and you got caught up in it; it’s a source of contrast, prompting you to ask for something new in your life; and more.  

 

With so many answers, who knows what the right one is? And this comes back to my confession. I really don’t know the right answer. They all make at least a little bit of sense to me.

 

But maybe it’s not important to know why the bump happened. I mean, does knowing why solve anything (other than perhaps avoiding them in the future, if that’s even possible or ultimately desirable)?

 

Maybe it’s more important to accept that it happened (you can’t argue with that) and that you somehow attracted it in your life (assuming you believe in law of attraction, which I do).

 

In other words,​​ it’s most productive to own the experience. That’s the only way we can move on from it.

 

And, just as important, we need to determine whether it’s fair to judge the experience at all. If you think about it, we label every experience in our lives. That’s good. This is bad. And I’m indifferent to the other.

 

But like the billionaire with the $10K accident, it’s all relative. Or in other words, an experience in and of itself has no value, other than the one we assign to it. And we only assign a value to it based on how we feel it’s going to impact our lives moving forward.

 

If we feel the impact is minimal,​​ we will be indifferent. If we feel the impact will be negative,​​ we’ll judge it as “bad”. If we feel the impact will be positive, we’ll judge it as “good”. It really is as simple as that.

 

The key words are we feel. What’s happening is we’re looking at something outside ourselves to dictate how we feel. And we do that all the time.

 

Once I have the relationship, I will feel happy. Once I have the money, I will feel joyful. Once I have the job I will be at peace.

 

If unexpected expenses come my way, I’ll feel scared. If my partner dumps me, I’ll feel sad. If my boss yells at me, I’ll be angry.

 

In other words, we freak out because we believe the bump will ultimately lead to a bad outcome, making us feel bad.

 

The irony is we’re already feeling bad by freaking out. Or to put it another way, our minds are making us feel bad before the potential outcome even happens.

 

Why? Because how we feel has nothing do with the outside world. It’s the great illusion!

 

Our feelings are simply a product of our thoughts and beliefs. Meaning it’s an internal trigger based on how we view the world.

 

Now don’t get me wrong, these triggers have a real impact. If you grew up with the belief that money is scarce and hard to come by, then any experience that threatens your financial wellbeing will cause within you a strong reaction.

 

But again, it’s not the experience that’s making you feel bad, it’s the perceived risk to your financial well-being that is making you feel bad.

 

Of course,​​ this may sound like semantics, but understanding the difference is crucial to your personal development.

 

The understanding that your thoughts and beliefs (not the external event) causes you to freak out puts you in the driver’s seat, because you have the power to change your thoughts and beliefs.

 

And there are many methods out there to help you do that. But the first step is accepting this undeniable truth. Only then can you move forward.

 

The problem is, for a lot of people we’re not quite sure what will freak us out in the future because our triggers are buried deep in our subconscious. Meaning we can only work on changing these triggers, once we consciously experience and acknowledge them.

 

So,​​ this comes back to the original point of this blog. What do you do the next time you freak out?

 

Well five things are necessary to help you through it:

 

  • At the time you’re freaking out, remember that some deeply held belief triggered this reaction and that the power to change it comes from within. Or in other words, it’s much more powerful to change yourself than the external event or even the outcome of the external event.

 

  • Honor how you feel. If you’re freaking out, then accept and honor the fact that you’re freaking out. If you deny that you’re freaking out you’re lying to yourself. If you try to supress this feeling you won’t get very far. Take 2 minutes, find a place by yourself, and allow all of those scary feelings to be felt fully. Let it embody you and fully accept it for what it is. In fact, stare into the face of this fear. I know it’s painful and scary to do that, but oftentimes you’ll find that when you stare at it long enough,​​ you’ll find nothing there. In other words, the feeling will naturally dissipate into the ether. Do this step as often as possible.

 

  • If the feelings don’t go away on their own, then let the feeling go. Literally visualize yourself placing the feeling in a basket or in a hot air balloon or some sort of item and allow it to float away or place it in the river and let the tide carry it away. Or find another way to let the feeling go. Take a deep breath and consciously release the feelings. And if there is more underneath it then let them go too. Do it as many times as you can until you feel lighter and calmer.

 

  • When you’re feeling calmer (and only when you’re feeling calmer) examine the trigger behind it. There is some sort of belief or thought pattern that caused you to freak out and you need identify what it is and why it’s possibly there. To help you it usually falls in the following categories. Please note that this was taken from the book Code to Joy and identified as The Seven Self-Limiting Beliefs:

 

  • You don’t feel safe

  • You don’t feel worthy

  • You feel powerless

  • You do not feel lovabe

  • You don’t trust anyone

  • You are bad

  • You are alone

 

(George Pratt, 2012)

The reason you have to feel calmer prior to step four is because you won’t be able to properly examine your triggers in a heightened state of freaking out. Your mindset is just not in the optimal state.

 

  • To round out the process, once you examine your triggers, than you have to do the much deeper work of changing your thoughts and beliefs. Again,​​ there are many resources out there to help you. You can find them with a little bit of effort. And once you do, commit to finding the best resource out there (for you) that you feel will make the biggest difference.

 

Okay, so that’s it for this post. Now it’s your turn. What are your thoughts on it? Do you have further advice and/or what resources would you recommend to help others with their limiting thoughts and beliefs.

 

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